THE CAPTAINS M is the lovechild of Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson. Like Leslie, she gets things done and like Ron, she hates big government, being told what to do and believes clear liquors are for rich women on diets. Editor-in-Chief of Carpe Freedom and meme connoisseur. A mixture of Carrie Bradshaw and Olivia Pope fueled by coffee, liberty, and naps. Graphic design goddess, hater of comic sans, and Missy Elliott enthusiast… but you can call her Captain Morgs. Let me tell you something, every winning team has a dad, believe me. That’s Zack. When he’s not destroying safe spaces, you can find him grilling, on the golf course, or lounged out reading the WSJ smoking a cigar and sipping bourbon. Carissa rules the business world on a steady diet of chardonnay, Diet Coke, and her toddler’s leftover breakfast. She’s a financial know-it-all, glitter aficionado and WAY too sassy for you. THE TEAM MEMBERS Alli is a senior in college. She’s a big fan of being right, political satire, the first amendment and Internet famous dogs. She likes her government as small as little Marco Rubio’s hands and her patriotism as YUGEEE as Trump’s wall. Conservative college girl with a coffee addiction. G-Eazy is found on all of my playlists. Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what you can do for me. Chicken nugget and McDonald’s breakfast aficionado. When he’s not eating, he’s probably triggering Social Justice Warriors in their safe spaces. #Adulting is not one of her strong suits. Hobbies include long nights and long concerts. Communications and Political Science double major. Brittany is a college girl living the TSM life. She runs on coffee, Chick-fil-a, and all things conservative. When she’s not hitting the books for her counterterrorism degree, she’s throwing up the “Xi” with her sisters. Carter is from the great state of Texas. Where the only thing bigger than their belt buckles is their hatred for liberals. He enjoys supporting our troops, waving American flags and telling it like it is. College senior, world traveller, liberal slayer, future lawyer. Her life motto? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of BBQ. Jersey born and raised. Prefers her politics red, wine white, and skies blue. Hannah wears her love for America on her sleeve. When she isn’t boating she enjoys drinking coffee, and hanging out with friends. Quite literally hanging, she’s a member of her campus’ hammocking club. Hannah studies political science at UWYO, where she hold total celeb status as “pro-life girl.” When she’s not busy running her pro-life club, tweeting politics, or making Rand Paul memes, she enjoys box wine and Blink-182 dance parties. Jessica doesn’t like the usual cat video and pizza slice as much as the next college student. But, what she does like is America & freedom. And beer. Selfie enthusiast. Constantly slaying. She likes her dog more than most people. She also shook hands with Mitt Romney once. It was awesome. Not your average college cupcake. Currently resides in the land of the free, home of the rage. A wanderlust girl who always forget to open her eyes in pictures. Lauren is a Florida native and forever student whose life goal it is to be a judge. She enjoys tea, puppies, patriotism, and being more basic than you. Marilyn has a strong passion for capitalism, Martinis, and Frank Sinatra. When she is not reading biographies, she enjoys running (only so she can eat more tacos), annoying her student government, and looking at pictures of dogs wearing pantyhose. Morgan’s goal in life is to have enough money for the finer things: hockey games, craft beer, whiskey, and anything her dogs desire. She’s pre-med, so one day you’ll pay her to check you out. Small town girl migrated to Cincinnati. User of uncontrollable sass. Lover of cats, pizza, and the Second Amendment. Enginerd, Politico, and the “Ben Sasse” of Student Government. Paige aspires to be Ronald Reagan’s spouse. We can all dream, right? Sara is a senior studying political science and communications. She is sassy yet classy, a lover of all things Lilly and elephants, and avid traveler; most importantly, she likes her politics Red, her pearls White and her oceans Blue. Lives for Diet Coke, preppy things, and the hope that Reagan Republicanism will rise again. Taylor is a freshman studying journalism and communications. She enjoys cappuccinos, defending the constitution, and complaining about Hillary Clinton’s breaches of the law. Yasmeen in a nutshell.